BUILD IT, D.I.D.

We’ve had many levels of communication with each other in our system. For a long time we could talk face to face inside, then that fell away and we were forced back to journaling, annoying. Really we were all feeling like failures, well not the ones that were causing the separation, they were stoked. Our system is made up of a good many folk, some created by doctors and some by our own sellves.

Pith is reading volumes on childhood development, she wants to understand what was done at each stage and she believes emotional stages were used to their maximum benefit to those who mucked around in our mind/brain. All that mucking becomes the ‘development’ of our system, not created like some would have us believe, but nurtured and not in a ‘good’ way. We believe there has to be some sort of predisposition for multiplicity, since others have had trauma and not turned up with DID. One of the most documented survivor abuse are those of the Holocaust, there was extreme trauma with people ranging in all ages. There are no cases of DID, that’s we’ve found, in Holocaust survivors. Why? Why didn’t children subjected to those abuses develop DID?

Isolation

The adults/children of the Holocaust were not alone, they were part of a community that suffered the abuse together. That’s not to discount the abuse, but it had the component of community, ‘in this together,’ that children abused at home or in a cult don’t generally have.

Looking at our trauma history, it was all about isolation. It was personal. There was no community. Add to that the hook of ‘authentic love’ used to bind people in our system to the abuser and bingo we’re deep in DID territory that looks like it was created after the fact. Still isolation might be the factor in why some trauma can nurture DID while others don’t.

Natural Multiple VS Trauma Based

Here’s the thing, I starting to think they’re one in the same and that’s where predisposition comes to play. If it’s there and no trauma, GREAT, now it’s just about dealing with the day to day of being multiple. (Not that that’s nothing or something, just complicated.) But if all multiples are naturally so, it’s what’s done with that which becomes the system and can be manipulated. It’s become evident that our mind was mucked with by some very knowledgeable folk. People who discovered and nurtured our ability to be multiple to/for their own gains. Pretty damn nifty on their part actually. They apparently were pulling the strings right from the get go.

Still we’re ourselves, they may have called us front, but they didn’t make us multiple. They just used our natural set of selves called front to train and condition. There were those we, as a system, called front but they like the others were there in the soup. There are still more in that soup that have never been called front, sort of like embryos.

For decades we thought we knew what was up with ourselves and our system, then another level unfolded, we thought “okay that was shit, now we can get on with living,” then bottom falls out and we’re on some new level of dysfunction. It’s not that we’re helpless, it’s just frustrating to find out everything we thought we’d worked out/thru is now our goal. But hey, least we know we can get there, we did it before.

Ravin