DENIAL: Shut Off

Denial is a part of the “soul murder” that our perpetrators use to keep us forever in their control. What better way to ‘keep us under the thumb’ then to deny our own head-mates their lives that fill all those “empty spaces” in ones history.

Whether we believe our head-mates are parts or people they share a piece of the history of the body. The BODY is the only linear constant we DIDers have. The body has a right to be safe, it’s our responsibility to finally give it safe passage to a ‘regular life’ where the sky might fall, but is totally out of our control.

I think we forget that we’re not just our minds, that the body has been around for the ride the whole time. It’s been the horse we all rode/ride. It’s given us our survival as well, it withstood the torture, harm, near death and stood back up. It doesn’t have one mind riding but MANY and it deserves some cooperation on how it’s ridden. All the SI or near deaths it suffers because of our denial is just more abuse toward the body. How is that right?

Denial is hard to over come, no one says it’s easy. We were conditioned to deny, some of us from before birth. If just one of us steps off the D-train (dissociation) and takes the hand of another there’s really no going back to the closet our perpetrators thought was locked up tight.

Things happen and those walls go flying up, but someone remembers freedom, once tasted it gnaws the gut. It’s like the Passover service that reminds Jews of their journey out of slavery, not just out of the actual bonds, but the mind set of being a slave. It took 40 years because G-d wanted the Jews to over come their denial and enter the world free from the mind set of a slave. This meant when they built the new temple it would have a foundation of freedom. Recovery is just that, building a new temple with a foundation of freedom.

Denial is the bonds of slavery, heavy and hurtful, hard to throw off but worth doing. Even if it takes many many tries to succeed.



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kaley
    Jul 13, 2010 @ 20:08:34

    I love this post! I was in denial for a long time about my self-medicating and drinking ways and refused to take a long, hard look at myself. It caused me a lot of pain, both emotionally and legally.

    It IS hard to leave that apathetic place of denial, but things are much cleaner and clearer when you do. I am finally getting to that place right now and it feels good!



  2. moreheads
    Jul 13, 2010 @ 20:53:21

    Thanks for the comment. Glad to hear you are on the other side.


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